Tuesday, August 2, 2016

please forgive my ignorance ...

but my redneckedness has been an acquired taste, one that has taken years to learn and given me (finally) the recognition i have sought as a G.R.I.T.S. (Girl Raised In The South)
but in spite of all my "Edu-Maka-shun" (as my father liked to pronounce it), i don't think i have ever seen a pear in the wild and have only seen them stripped of their dignity, halved, and canned in some light syrup. as a result, i've never really cared for them with or without the maraschino cherry.
so here is my dilemma ...
 we have this tree that is quickly becoming weighed down with ripening pears. i can sort of imagine the whole Garden of Eden thing and the temptation of Eve because they really do look good.
however
comma
how do you tell when they are ripe?
i asked my husband, who was born into being a redneck and has a lot more redneck common sense than i do. and of course, he gave me the perfect redneck common sense answer, which was ...
"Well, they'd be softer than when they aren't ripe."
 yes, that helped me immensely, and just so you know i'm not mocking or ridiculing him, i told him i was going to quote him because he said it was also "just common sense."
maybe for a natural born redneck. but for someone who has had to learn redneck the hard way (which is typically by making a mistake and getting laughed at) it wasn't all that common.
 my first clue that this might not be one of those "softer than when it isn't ripe" pears was the fact that i had to get a mallet to help me get the knife through it.
chewing on a piece that i skinned and sliced off was also like chewing on a flavorless piece of wood.
so there you have it.
another lesson learned the hard way by a G.R.I.T.S. 

and you can stop laughing now

5 comments:

  1. Not laughing. Wincing in sympathy.
    Pears are not my friend. I don't think they have a great deal of flavour, and many years ago after eating a fresh one my mouth blew up like the African plate women. I suspect it was a reaction to something they had been sprayed with, but still....

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    1. oh that would have been horrible! i once had some crab dip at a bridal shower and instantly felt the roof of my mouth swell down and for just a moment i had a panic attack. just as quickly it shrunk, but after that, i was afraid to eat anything else there.

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    2. oh that would have been horrible! i once had some crab dip at a bridal shower and instantly felt the roof of my mouth swell down and for just a moment i had a panic attack. just as quickly it shrunk, but after that, i was afraid to eat anything else there.

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  2. You betchya I laughed, but with you! A mallet.... :-)

    I say trial and error, but do wait until they are softer, I would think. Bigger question - whatchya gonna do with 'em?

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  3. i have a recipe for pear jalapeno jam that i want to try!

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