Thursday, August 4, 2016

f.a.q. ...

i moved from Florida to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in the summer of 2014.
most of the time, people don't even know i'm not a 'real' yooper unless i say the word
creek
and it sounds like you were talking about a door creaking and not a crick in your neck.

now when my husband talks ~ the original redneck, born in Tallahassee (home to THE GREATEST college football team EVER ~ the FSU Seminoles), raised in Alabama ~ the first thing they ask him is where he is from.
after a while, we started telling everyone he was from Southern Michigan
yeah, they didn't believe it either

so when it does come up in conversation ~ usually in the middle of winter with three feet of snow on the ground ~ everyone asks me just one thing.
why?

usually in the middle of winter with three feet of snow on the ground, my response is always this:
temporary insanity

and that is partially true because that first November i was here, when i woke up the morning of Veteran's Day to three feet of snow in my driveway ~ until i got to the end of the driveway where the city's snow plow had piled up everything from the corner into my driveway and it was now a four foot high ICEBERG that took me five HOURS to shovel out of ~ i really questioned my sanity about moving up here

but then, nine months later when spring was finally here, and the flowers and trees were all in bloom, and the birds were singing, and robins having babies, and deer having babies, and i saw my first porcupine waddle down the road and the grass was green ...
i thought wow, this is such a beautiful place and the weather is just perfect with nice breezy days and no humidity and sunshine and waterfalls and lakes and rivers ...

and i forgot all about snow and sub-zero temperatures and driving in the dark on icy roads and that first panic i felt when i spun out driving down a snowy road on a hill and closed my eyes because for a few seconds it looked like we were going to go over the edge into the ravine instead of into the snowbank on the other side and panicking when i could see a deer's eyes glowing on the side of the dark road and knew that i couldn't stop safely without killing both of us and i just started chanting "please don't move please don't move please don't move" until it probably heard me because the chant was in my head and i was really screaming it and blowing the horn ...

but then, two weeks later when the first frost hit and all the leaves on the trees turned these amazing colors of red, yellow, orange, and i had never in my life seen anything more incredibly beautiful except for maybe spring, and the apples on the trees were turning red and the smell of wood fireplaces filled the air and the smell of fresh apple pie filled my kitchen ...
i thought wow, this is such a beautiful place and the weather is really making me get all excited for the holidays and i love all the craft shows that are starting and there is still no humidity but there is sunshine and waterfalls and lakes and rivers and only once did i see a dead bear on someone's truck and it was only sad for a second because i looked away and it wasn't nearly as bad as all the dead deer on the sides of the roads who didn't have someone who screamed at them and honked the horn ...

but then, two weeks later when all the leaves fell off the trees and there was a foot of snow on the ground and three feet at the end of the driveway and four feet on the top of my car and my doors were frozen shut because we didn't have a garage and my heater didn't start to really feel warm until i was pulling into the parking lot of my job almost an hour later and just five minutes down the road my coffee had gotten cold already because it was like minus a billion or something in my car and even the beeping noise my car made until i put on my seatbelt was going WTF WTF WTF at a really high pitched beep i had never heard before and there was this annoying stupid snowflake on the little temperature thingie on my dash that told me what the outside temperature was AS IF I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS COLD ...
and i remembered ... 
yeah, i was insane.

1 comment:

  1. Sanity is seriously overrated. No artists. No writers. No explorers....

    ReplyDelete

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