Tuesday, November 18, 2014

lake effect snow ...

i'm learning a lot about snow lately

take for instance, different types of snow
"lake effect snow" (apart from blowing horizontally) is generally light, fluffy, and easy to shovel
"wet snow" packs hard, weighs a lot, and really works those (build bigger boobs) muscles when you shovel it

i've learned that before shoveling snow, you might want to figure out which way the wind is blowing because, as Jim Croce sang ... you don't want to throw into the wind because it is really cold when it hits you smack in the face, especially if it finds that little space between your coat collar and your neck
on the plus side, if the sun catches it just right, you can pretend you are getting showered with glitter by Jack Frost and the snow fairies who are silently laughing at applauding your (futile) efforts

i've learned that the snot that relentlessly runs onto your lip (and into your mouth) is truly harmless, and if you think of it just as a little extra protein to help you get done shoveling faster, it tends to gross you out just a little bit less

i also believe that if you wade over to the bird feeder in thigh high snow, and clear out the openings that are clogged up with snow so that the chickadees and finches can stuff their little bellies, that they might be less inclined to poop on your car in the spring right after you wash all the winter road dirt off of it (it's always good to hope anyway)
remember when your mom busted you for making a face at someone and told you that if you weren't careful, your face might freeze that way?
well, it can happen

like right after you say some sailor-like words about the guy with the snow plow who drove past you again without stopping, you might just have to eat those words, so be sure to sweeten them with a lot of sugar when he comes back to explain that his plow was busted, but he'll be happy to start shoveling out the driveway for $6 a run when he gets it fixed
in the meantime, don't be afraid to slog down the road to another neighbor and ask if she minded plowing out the last three feet of iceberg that was left by the county's street plow
her name was Danielle, and her (very-happy-to-run-circles-in-the-snow) poodle mix puppy was aptly named Sunshine, and i think they were angels in disguise


  1. I just can't get my head around all that snow. And parts of me are very, very jealous. Which is silly - and wrong.

    1. it is truly beautiful, and amazing, and cold. and lots and lots of it. lots. and it may not go away until next year. like next April. it is mind boggling...

  2. What I truly hope for you is that the sky clears and you have a spectacular display of the Northern Lights. It is truly awe inspiring.


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